Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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