if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
