I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
