Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
