i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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