did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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