There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
