Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
sex in a hospital.. check
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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