You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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