You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
