i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
