I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
