If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
