every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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