even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize