these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
