Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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