She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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