do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
