the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
