Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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