we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
