wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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