I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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