k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
