life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
