just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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