Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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