I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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