If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
