She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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