Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We're too hungover to prance.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
