I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
