I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
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