Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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