The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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