for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
