He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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