Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
