Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
