You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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