it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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