just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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