I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
