She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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