Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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