Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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