Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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