I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
