JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh god it's open bar.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
