yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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