..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
