GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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