your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
