Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Text me some of your sweat
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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