i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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