not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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